Shibari
Being cuffed in bed, cuffed at hands and feet, and your lover can do whatever she or he wants to do with you, who is helpless and excited, that's the one thing. Shibari is the other. Being tied with a rope is not the prearrangement for something else, for a kinky sensuality that follows the process. It's the real deal. Getting tied is already what Shibari is about. In the largest parts. It's also about bearing the status quo, once it's reached, on the side of the bound. Being exposed and safe at the same time. Being loved and being owned. On the other hand the rigger (the one who ties) feels the satisfaction of owning, the awareness of deep love for those who submit themselves, the pride about the beauty of the creation.
When this sounds very romantic to you, when you feel an urge inside of you when you read this, you might be available for the zest of real Shibari. But be aware that there is a long way to go before you're an adept of the rope. And maybe it will be the best for you to just become a beholder.
A few facts you must know: Shibari is a process that might last hours! Giving in, being submissive means, that you lose control of time at first. Even before you lose control of your body. And during the process you can not have a break to go to the toilet. You might lose every modesty next. More important is the need of high expertise on the riggers side! When you hear about Shibari, you might hear about the beauty of the bondage. The aesthetic charm of the pattern of the knots. The knots have not only the meaning to look beautiful. Bodies have a pattern of important spots! Chinese foot massage philosophy tells you that every spot on your feet connects to other spots on your body. Bodies are completely connected in a web of nerves! Placing the knots in a rope on the right spots of a body can cause very pleasant effects. It's a part of the sensual excitement of Shibari! More important is to know, that the same knots can cause severe damage to a body. A rigger must necessarily be educated in anatomy! Once the bloodstream is disabled by knots pressing the wrong spots, there is immediate danger given to the bound person! This must not happen! In no way! Shibari is not a game! It's a philosophy. A form of art. An expertise!
Additionally you must know that every body is different! I will give you a personal example. On my lower spine there is a curve to the right. That's highly unusual, but not exactly dangerous and it's not limiting me in any way. For a Shibari session it can become important to know that. So, if you fall in love with a Shibari Mistress or Master and she or he wants you to get naked and stand in the room for an hour with spread legs and looks at you from all directions, it will not only have voyeuristic reasons.
For real Shibari adepts it is the most intimate expression of love for each other. The ultimate experience of trust and devotion. A bondage process is the most precious time they will ever share. But even when my heart beats faster when I see a set including Shibari in Nude Art, the real experience was not my passion. I was in a sexual relationship with a dominant Shibari Mistress for 3 months. We fell in love because we fell attracted to each other, and when she told me about her passion, I was really excited and wanted to experience it, but I had to realize that I always held back. And she didn't want to insist on her dominance, but in her mind she always did. Shibari is not a game. It's a philosophy. It's not for tourists (like I obviously was at the time). Before that and ever since, I always fell in love on eye's level to a woman. Being submissive gives me a pleasant chill in my fantasies, but it is not really who I am! And it feels good to experience THAT as my personal truth and still being open for the difference in my imaginaton! So it was definitely worth to have lived those 3 months. And as a farewell she gave me the Manga books "Nana & Kaoru". That is a great recommendation for those of you who want to know more about it!